and in this i will presume

Day 10- Someone I wish I talked to more than I do

I guess I'd really wish that I still talk to SiPei more?

I'm not sure, just feel like I haven't spoken to you in a long time

And there's Cheryl too, haven't seen her since school started, that's like 4months

But I've always had faith that things will still be the same between us even if we don't meet. I believe we can always pick up where we left off. But thennnnnn who knows right? And it's just really sad if we can carry on from where we stopped

Day 9- To someone I want meet

It can be anyone right. So I'd like to meet my coach again. Maybe not meet, but have my thoughs conveyed.

You probably think that I'm an ingrate. Leaving just when my position is unfilled,and when you had the most faith in me.
Not just when I left school, but also for stuff like when I missed trainings fr exchange programmes, you were really supportive even giving me the money because you were afraid my parents couldn't afford it. You know that it was the best for me.

Nevertheless, you gave your support. So probably you expected me to be more actively involved with the team than this. And maybe you are still angry that I forgot your birthday. I don't know, but then again I think that it's not reasonable to be angry at me just because of that.


I'll just like you to know that I really thank you for having faith in me when no one else had. And saw something in me that you'll like to change and saw that I can be more than what I am. Even though you were just a volleyball coach, you taught me more than that. You taught me to be patient, to be inspired, to learn from my heart, to experience everything, to empathise, to be sensitive, to not give up, to be proactive, yet passive when there is a need to be. You opened up my eyes to things that are hardly noticeable, allowing me to be a more sensitive ad considerate person than I was before

I'll like to meet you again, to play ball, to talk, and to have lunch or something. Though our conversations may be limited, but I always saw you as a fatherly figure. You always did what yo felt was the best for me even though I may not always feel i. I hope you know that when we angered you, I never did it on purpose, and I always responsible to correct the actions, and make up for everything

I hope you're doing well, thank you so much for all of this. Hope one day, things will pass and settle. Till then, take care

Cai Guo Qiang

Remember CaiGUoQiang from my October post!!!!
http://raspberrybullet.blogspot.com/2009/10/key-to-skies.html

The exhibition is in sg!

http://www.nationalmuseum.sg/nms/nms_html/nms_content_6c.asp?content_template=4&content_id=23&tab_id=23&cine_id=2811&fest_id=0

Day 8- To internet friend

I don't think I have one. I've people whom I talk to online but not in real life
I think the virtual isn't a very nice world to be in.
There's a reason why I'm not active anywhere but here

made my heart race and my hand shake

Bss was really good:) I'm glad I went, I don't mind forsaking 10% of textfun for it. Then again, I'll be going to school early to read stupid notes:)

Day 7- To the ex

Oh my I hesitated a little, but hello there. I think you've been doing pretty fine? Well I'm alright too. You sent me a really random message that day, it kinda freaked me a little.
Sometimes I wonder what actually could have been of us if we continued. But as of now, I think it's not a great idea. I believe it's impossible to be like how we used to, but it's fine.
Sometimes when people ask me if I've gotten over you, I stop and think, what does it mean to have gotten over you? That I can continue life as it is? Of course not, something important has been ripped from you. What you do is pick yourself up and move on. And create newer pieces, and fix a whole new portion over the empty hole. I don't think anyone ever gets over what happens with exes.
We definitely can get on with life, it's just whether we choose to face it with more faith in what is held in store for us, or wallow in misery in that things can never be the same again.
Then again as you see it, things are never the same, whether still in the relationship or not, I guess I prefer to go on and be happy. No point crying over spilt milk. Maybe things are meant to be greater with someone else, and if no one else is out there for me, I'll still be happy, I can spend the rest of my life with my mummy and daddy. And if that too, shall pass, I'll go adopt kids to torture them ,but they'll grow to love me, because it's way better than spoiling them;)
Just a thought.
I think I can safely say, that I've been happy without you, and will continue to be so. I've learn from you that over-dependency is never good, I'll try not to make that mistake again.
I lost myself in you once, I became you and I couldn't distinguish myself from us. I forgot what it is like to be selfish. And when we finally took a step back from where we were, I saw things so clearly that I couldn't bring myself to do it again when things were expected to return to 'normal' after.

I guess things are fine this way now? Each of our lives not inter-conflicting with the other.

Can't wait

Michael Tintiuc and Jaco and slight Willy Cartier

Day 6- To a stranger

Hi there, I don't know you, and you don't know me. But maybe one day we won't be that strange in each other's eyes anymore.

Maybe one day we shall be best buds, or lovers, or nothing at all. But it's fine I think? Because, all relationships starts off like one between the two of us. Mother and son did not know each other till they do. So I guess it's the same for us too.

Then again, does it matter if there was a close relation between us? I don't mind things being this way. If not for you, I won't have anyone to bitch about, won't have anyone to admire, won't have anyone to fantasize about.

We all love our fantasies, you too right?

Henry Holland for Levis

It's interesting I guess?

Day 5-to my dreams

Hi, long time no see. I think I kinda lost sight of you for a while. I think I lost it for a while. Hell, I don't think you are found now. missing again? Please come back to me before I forget what I'm supposed to be doing now. It's difficult to carry on without you. I would really do anything, to keep you alive and to keep it all flaming between the two of us. I've done everything I could to keep up wit hyou, so don't desert. Wait for me, wait till the day I get closer to you<3

Day 4- to my siblings

I've siblings. 3 of them each one i hold dear

Cleo, far away queen Cleo. Menace of my childhood. haha, but because of that, I've learnt a lot. Because she was her, I learnt a lot. I think she sacrificed quite a lot for us, in a way. Being the oldest and all, somethings just never went the way it did for us, so there was all the sibling rivalry and all. But then again, I guess all of that are over. Since a while back, before she left for far away aussie land, I've become attached to her, and used to her presence at home. When she was milder. So i'll just hang out in the room with her, she doing her stuffs, me doing mind. before Chloe came back from school I miss that. You're like my advisor, even though I do wish you were more contactable, Im always afraid of running the bills high. I wnat more long car trips with you, maybe next time, I'll be the one driving:)

I'm glad you're happy now. I'm glad there's Jude and baby Xander coming along. I hope he puts joy in your life like never before:) I'm sure he will. I will love him I promise!!!

Then there's my perfect Chloe. Well mannered, smart, cute, and still the fastest woman in my eyes. Thank you for being there for me when I needed a shoulder to lean on. Not just once or twice. Even though I know I irritated you when I was young, I think you still loved me right:):) Give me lolli and all, I remember ok, maybe you don't. I don't know. Giving me support when you know I need them. And of course listening and basically cradling me in your arms whenever I go crying for you (since kinderworld) If not, no one will bother doing that to me. Cry then jsut listen. But I'll always feel so much more comforted after talking to you, and listening to whatever you say. Even seein you at home is a comfort, feels nice and warm'

And mojojojo Drago demon of the household.I can't wait for you to grow up!!! Then at least your foolishness will become more sense-full(somewhat) Now you're just playing a fool and being really mischievous and probably not even understanding your actions. I want you to grow older, then you can become my chauffeur, become my shopping advisor, become my best bud (if you don't mind your cool old sister being your bud) Then you can be my partner for events I'll attend if ever I become more involve and more up there(if ever) I love you you dumbass stupid brother, GROW UP OMG<3:d

I LOVE YOU GUYS, YOU MAKE MY LIFE COMPLETE. No more thinking that Cleo and Chloe are irritating elder sisters. But YES Drago is still as annoying as hell<3

I'm dreading work tommorow. And I just received the cutest shoutout via vlog from Weihui. So back to my vj guys. I miss you guys in this strange way, and I really wish we have more time together with each other. Everytime I meet you guys, I just feel like I missed out on a whole chunk of your lives. And that sucks really badly

I think all of us, we seek for the sense of belonging. To wherever we are. So we just keep trying. hmm

oh and that above is Christian Brylle. Strangely captivating druggie looking face

Day 3- Letter to my parents

Hello mummy and daddy. I used to think that our family was perfect. But some stuff jsut showed that it isn't. But then again, I wouldn't ask for it to be an other way, and being like that, it is perfect in my eyes.So thank you for allowing us to grow this way. figuring things out ourselves, with some guidance and a little push from you.

Thank you for showing me support throughout the whole process of me making the decision to go to Poly and pursuing my passion as much as I can. I have friends whose parent don't support htem this way. I know that you are worried for my future. But please have faith that I will make it, and still be the same daughter you have now.

I hope that you guys know that even though i stay out late even though I don't listen at times, I still love you guys in this peculiar way and I will never dream of hurting you two in anyway.

I believe that the root of all sorts of disagreements we have is because of the generation gap. It's probably that you have forgotten how to be young, or that I'm not old enough. Maybe I'm at fault maybe you are, but I suppose that it isn't that important to push the blame. But more important to reach an understanding and an agreement- that even though you weren't like me when you were younger, doesn't mean that I can't be the way I am.

For the fact that I love you two for the way you are and the way you love and care for me, Please know that I will love, care and treat you with the same or even more respect.

There will always be disagreements between human beings, even more for those who live under the same roof. So let there be arguements, because that is what makes parent and child (i guess, in our case? not saying that there are arguements, but not saying that there aren't any either) And let there be love, BECAUSE I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Day 2-To my crush

I don't think I have one do I?

But then, if I do-

Hi, I think you are lovely. I don't think I know you personally right? If I do know you, and still think that you are lovely, that's just great, for me I guess. The feeling of crushing on you makes my day. Because just seeing you will make a bad day less dreary.

Maybe I'll wish that you'll take a look at me. Or maybe not, because if you do , you wouldn't be a crush anymore. I don't really know what to say to you, just that I hope that this feeling towards you will not fade away. Life will be dull without you.

We all enjoy some fantasizing don't we?

Day 1 to my best friend

I don't think that I've a best friend. Sometimes, I wonder if I consider them as my best, and

if they'll reciprocate if I actually do.

But I do have a couple of brilliant friends, who try their best to understand me, and try their best to know what I'm up to. I used to think that friends who don't care, I shouldn't care too. But I've come to an understanding that it always takes two hands to clap, and if I care, I should, and they will eventually too.

There're a couple of friends whom I've been in constant contact, and when not in contact, I will constantly think about them. Wondering what they've been up to and feeling guilty cos I haven't contacted them

Maybe I'm not very close to all of them but they all hold a special place in my heart. Are they considered as my best friends? Ros, Cat, Sipei, Amadea, Cheryl, my awesome bunch of newly made tp friends.

I hope it'll always remain this way with you guys, if not, better. And that constant understanding will occur whilst we do our growing up and advance together. That'll be awesome.

haven't wrote like that in a long time, my sentences don't flow. But oh well, hope that at the end of these thirty days, I'll go back to it

30 Day Letters Day 1 — Your Best Friend Day 2 — Your Crush Day 3 — Your parents Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative) Day 5 — Your dreams Day 6 — A stranger Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from Day 15 — The person you miss the most Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country Day 17 — Someone from your childhood Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to Day 23 — The last person you kissed Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day Day 28 — Someone that changed your life Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

check this out

deleted!

omg can't post it here can't post it here:(

It's all taking over. I just have to get used to it, that's all I can do now I guess

Stiff much?

Jaco Van Der Hoven

Is he pretty or what

If she couldn't remember my name she'll call me 'Miss' as the servants do!

Well if she said 'Miss,' and didn't say anything more, of course you'd miss your lessons. That's a joke. I wish you had made it.

As I grow older I understand that you cannot hold on to the past with a vice-like grip: to do so is to wear a coat made of agony and sewn with lead. But to shrug off that coat and let the grief slip from your shoulders is an act of farewell that take enormous strength. I know that for me, to be cast bare and shivering in a blizzard of emptiness while resolutely stepping forward has been one of the hardest challenges of my life.

I did not write the above but i felt like having it here.

work has been taking my time and my freedom, but no complains

for the returns are worth it

The sudden disturbance and return of persons, really throw me off balance

BoTin left today, upsetting

Why does sugar cane taste so good?

I think the hormones kicked in this week.

I didn't use the computer for 5 days?

I would very much love to have my friend here in sg, so we wouldn't have to vie for her precious time. And I would very much love to have my sister here in sg, so I can see her pregnant. I miss the sibling rivalry as much as I hated it in the past.

next week my poison apple next week!

too much to know, too much that i think of

amongst my own thoughts